Friday the 13th
Erm..today is friday the 13th kan…tuk mat saleh dia org kata tarikh ni banyak benda yang berlaku..tuk aku lak..aku leh cakap tarik ni bawak kesakitan tuk aku sekali lagi..kesakitan ibarat aku baru saja dibelot..dipermainkan..dan di tikam dari arah denpan dan belakang oleh insan yang sama..Why am i so stupid to let my self get hurt like this..Aku tak paham..aderk gak manusia yang sanggup permainkan perasaan and sakitkan hati org lain just tuk capai tujuan and matlamat mereka..aderk berkat ker kat situ?….Entah ah..aku susah nak benci org..semarah mana aku kat seseorang tu aku still wish the best for that person..dalam sebulan setengah ni..rasa sakit betul jiwa raga aku ni..and today is like climax dia..AGAIN……it is so painfull and buat aku rasa aku jatuh tersembam ke bumi lagik.and this time..darik mana lak aku nak carik kekuatan tuk bangun balik..bergerak balik..maju balik..sem dah nak naik ni..but tension aku makin bertambah..and i got a lot of stuff to do..and why does only pain that i’m feeling right now..not happinese..
Seriously..aku makin naik penat dengan life ni..i’m really-really exhausted with a lot of things already..and membiarkan org mempermainkan aku sebegini..masalah yang aku sendirik carik…
Tuk hamba ALLAH tu..aku doakan dia kebahagian ah kan..sebab sanggup perlakukan aku begini just tuk capai kebahagian tuk diri dia..thanks for everything you showed me..and you also showed me how low and worst i am..as if i’m a heartless person..
Try to be satisfity with what you got..just hope that no one would do the samething to u coz it would hurt me to see you in the same state as mine right now……Love is something you search for..fight for..but does it worth it to fight and try to get it selfishly until you are hurting someone else feeling..Sorry to say..i’m not ready to be someone stopping stone..You should have just let me kill those feeling long time ago then rather being in front of me….
I just hope that i would have the strength to just move on with out u..seeing you and smile as if i’m ok..and better of without u..i’ll try..for all my friends that had been supporting me all this while…
Life is not that easy you know..sometimes u always blabbered about something….not cheerishing it good enough..i wish you would just be in this one kind of state where you would felt everything that i felt..see everything that i see..in order for you to realise what u have just played with…
Stop telling people about love and pain..when you your self doesn’t really know bout it..i was a fool i guess for caring for u..being there for u..giving u everything that u need..just that u can used me for that very short moment to get your life back and you goal back..which is HIM…..
I donno if anyone is reading this..and i also know that u won’t be reading this..but i just hope..the pain that you have just caused me would be good for u..that’s all……….
Last but not least..try to stay and be faithfull if that is what you want..If u can’t even think for your self..don’t expect others would think for you……
Life is not a game you know..it involve reall time feelings and scares..learn that..
How to get your self back?…..by thinking what are you actually doing..realise that there are something in lofe that you would do..that would just make you lost your self and life..and you can never gain it back..unless you’ve fast it..and except it
Learn to appreciate something my friend…..
Jaa’
FuCkIn of from today version of today’s
